Plans to launch a ‘lady-friendly’ version of Doritos has sparked outrage among female fans of the triangular crisp.
According to PepsiCo (the owners of Doritos), following research, the popularity of Doritos would increase amongst women if they were to make less of crunch when eating them and leave less of a mess on their fingers.
Global chief executive of PesiCo and fellow woman Indra Nooyi outragously said in an interview with Freakanomics, “When you eat out of a flex bag — one of our single-serve bags — especially as you watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavour, and the broken chips in the bottom.”
She continued, “Women would love to do the same, but they don’t. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavour into their mouth.”
“It’s not a male and female as much as ‘are there snacks for women that can be designed and packaged differently?’ And yes, we are looking at it, and we’re getting ready to launch a bunch of them soon.”
“For women, low-crunch, the full taste profile, not have so much of the flavour stick on the fingers, and how can you put it in a purse? Because women love to carry a snack in their purse.”
The ludicrous suggestion that women are deterred from eating Doritos because they don’t fit in their handbag along with their lipstick, purse, the dinner waiting on the table for their husband and other general sexist stereotypes has left women perplexed and furious.
This is the dumbest thing ever. Why can’t women eat normal Doritos…they’re not for men!!! https://t.co/7BswC2RGn2
— Katerina (@Peeeeeachy) February 5, 2018
Doritos makers say women don’t like licking their fingers….
I’m trying to find an appropriate response that won’t attract the wrong kind of Twitter followers.
Shall we stick with, Doritos – wise up.
— Claire Allan 🌹 (@ClaireAllan) February 4, 2018
WE ASKED FOR EQUAL PAY, WE DIDN’T ASK FOR THIShttps://t.co/BEgoy4kSqZ
— Monique Jaques (@moniquejaques) February 5, 2018
The true gender gap…not pay, crisps
But seriously, wtfhttps://t.co/7kMkmm6rgD
— Nick Court (@Scruffy_Nick) February 5, 2018
😣 am I the only woman out there that enjoys a Dorito’s crunch and flavour goodness? PepsiCo seems to think we don’t?! Opinion | Vinay Menon: Junk food for women? Pass the Doritas
— Laura Reinholz (@LauraMReinholz) February 4, 2018
We need ickle pink packets with ickle pink crisps for our lady mouths.. https://t.co/xyMz53MJt8
— Julie Owen Moylan (@JulieOwenMoylan) February 4, 2018
EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I KNOW FINDS AND EATS CRISPS FROM HER BOOB CREVICE ON A FAIRLY REGULAR BASIS WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT. https://t.co/dGNC7CHmhv
— Fiona Longmuir 🍂 (@EscapologistFi) February 4, 2018
“I know women *want* equal pay, cheaper sanitary products and people to stop harassing them but quiet crisps and a woman traffic light is kinda the same right?” https://t.co/q5NsEROHYc
— Ione Wells (@ionewells) February 4, 2018
Literally HOW do you gender a packet of crisps? Because this reads as shaming women for eating normally and making noises when they chew. You know, like humans do. https://t.co/qRdCCIZegH
— Georgina Adlam (@GeorginaAdlam) February 5, 2018
If this farcical product does hit the supermarket shelves, the Advertising Standards Authority will prohibit them from being specifically branded for women.
A spokesperson for the Women’s Equality Party said, “No doubt some male consumers will welcome the chance to have a bigger package. But the idea of shrinking products for women, no doubt for the same price, is as old as the Ad Men making these decisions. Companies that perpetuate these tired gender stereotypes will continue to lose out on the single biggest consumer group: women.”
At The Full Nine Yards, we can only say thank goodness for PepsiCo identifying this worldwide gender issue and being so forthcoming and revolutionary in their approach to solve it! Let’s hope these dainty hand-bag sized crisp packets with stifled crunch sounds are released soon before the female race withers away from lack of triangular-shaped snacks to devour in public. In the meantime women, if you do have to eat, we’d recommend sticking to feminine foods like smoked salmon, quinoa and salad all topped with a dash of the bitter taste of inequality. And make sure to stay away from Doritos at all costs! And definitely no Yorkie’s! You’ve been warned against those for years!